Hi! I've deleted tumblr for a reason you don't want to hear; bored. I get bored easily and recently I've been bored with my "itu itu aja" kind of tumblr, and I did miss this blog and its posts so I decided to go back to my old blog yay new username and fresher layout lol idk I look at my own blog and I'm happy ;__; and I've moved the posts I posted in tumblr so yay

H.H

have you ever lost someone you love the most? like, giving everything for them to come back. wishing every single night. trying to treat them the way they treat you, but you just can’t. have you ever loved somebody… more than you love yourself? when you feel your life is screwed when you’re fighting with them, your heart torn apart when you see them happy with someone else.

 i’m not selfish, but i am when it goes to you. i don’t want to lose you for the millionth time. i don’t want to see you happy with another girl, which is better than me. i want to make you realize, but i don’t want you to think i’m annoying. i want you to know i need you. i want you to know i can’t live without you — not literally, but i do. i want you to know i lost my way without you. i want you to know you’re all i think about. i want you to know, i love you more than i love pizza, more than i love kit kat green tea, more than i love ice cream, more likely… more than myself.

 i want to be your only one, because you’re already mine. :)

"Here I go, scream my lungs out
And try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go but there’s just no one
That gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one."

nothing to do

1 Who did you last say “i love you” to? nada
2 Do you regret it? no i love her
3 Have you ever been depressed? yes all the taaaayymm
4 Do you like dinosaurs? i like some of em
5 Are you insecure? YES I AM
6 What is your relationship status? a hopeless lover currently single :p
7 How do you want to die? peacefully
8 What did you last eat? cheese nuggets
9 Have you played any sports? yes i think
10 Do you have an attitude? yes yes yes
11 Do you like someone? yep
12 What is your real name? guess
13 Have you ever read a book? yes i have ugh
14 Do you hate anyone at the moment? FUCK YES
15 Do you miss someone? sadly, yes
16 Twirl or cut your spaghetti? twirl
17 Do you tan a lot? over the summer? HAHA yes :(
18 Have any pets? yay
19 How exactly are you feeling? i am moody, i'm not exactly sure
20 Ever eaten food in a car while someone or yourself is driving: hem yes
21 Good driver? i wish so
22 Are you scared of spiders? sometimes
23 Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? OMFG YES
24 Do you regret anything from your past? :( i do
25 What are your plans for this weekend? SLEEP ALL DAY LONG
26 Do you want to have kid? of course,but not now
27 Do you type fast? most of the time yep
28 Do you have piercings? nope
29 Want anymore?
30 Can you spell well? yes
31 Do you miss anyone from your past? not exactly
32 What are you craving right now? kit kat green tea and new clothes
33 Ever been to a bonfire party? nope
34 Ever had a silly band? HAHA not for real but yes
35 Have you ever been on a horse? yep
36 Have you ever broken someones heart? yep
37 Have you ever been cheated on? nope
38 Are you thinking of someone right now? yes, its him
39 Would you live with someone without marrying them? HEHEHE YES
40 What should you be doing? idk sleep
41 Whats irritating you right now? HER OMG
42 Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts? :( hehe
43 Does somebody love you? i wish..
44 What is your favorite color? BLUE and anything if its pastel color!
45 Have you ever changed clothes in a car? haha yep
46 Milk chocolate or white chocolate? white chocolate is better
47 Do you have trust issues? sometimes
48 Best friends name? nisya nildza
49 2nd best friends name? happy
50 3rd best friends name? syifa nada
51 Who was the last person you cried in front of? nildza
52 Do you give out second chances too easily? hehe
53 Is it easier to forgive or forget? forgive, i think
54 What was your childhood nickname? fati HAHA
55 Favorite food? anything green tea; anything yummy for my tummy!
60 Do you believe everything happens for a reason? sometimes i do, sometimes i don't

):)

Hi. I never thought that we’ll end up this way. I’ve predicted that was just temporary, but not this way. Nothing’s worse than being replaced, isn’t it? & thank you, thank you.

 Hi Ikan, Gue emang salah, I’ve fallen for you this hard. And it hurts, really. Apalagi jatuh, nggak ada yang nangkep. Yeah you WERE there. Not now. I’ve wished a million times to God for you to come back, but you disappeared like nothing really happened. Hehe sumpah berakhir tragis abis… It deeply hurts I swear to anything. I just want you to come back… I want my reality as good as my dreams, and that happens when I’m with you. When you make me feel like I’m the only one. When you make me feel like everything’s fine. When you make me feel like… Heaven on earth, when I’m with you.
Sekarang? :).

 Berarti those signs are fake ya? Mungkin universe cuman ngebuat gue berharap tapi gak dapet apa apa. Mungkin universe cuman mau ngerjain gue. Jail banget sih. :)

  “…Already broken, already gone, already know you’re moving on. I’m a breathing, talking.. Dead man, walking. Already see it, in your face, already someone, in my place. I’m a breathing, talking.. Dead man, walking..”

a song for you

[1st Verse]
I Don’t Need No Dreams When I’m By Your Side
Every Moment Takes Me To Paradise
Darlin’, Let Me Hold You
Warm You In My Arms And Melt Your Fears Away
Show You All The Magic That A Perfect Love Can
Make
I Need You Night And Day

[Chorus (1)]
So Baby, Be Mine (Baby You Gotta Be Mine)
And Girl I’ll Give You All I Got To Give
So Baby, Be My Girl (All The Time)
And We Can Share This Ecstasy
As Long As We Believe In Love

[2nd Verse]
I Won’t Give You Reason To Change Your Mind
(I Guess It’s Still You Thrill Me, Baby, Be Mine)
You Are All The Future That I Desire
Girl, I Need To Hold You
Share My Feelings In The Heat Of Love’s Embrace
Show You All The Passion Burning In My Heart
Today
It’s Never Gonna Fade

[Chorus (2)]
So Baby, Be Mine (Baby You Gotta Be Mine)
And Girl I’ll Give You All I Got To Give
So Baby, Be My Girl (All The Time)
You’re Everything This World Could Be
The Reason That I Live

[Bridge]
Won’t You Stay With Me Until The Mornin’ Sun
I Promise You Now That The Dawn Will Be Different
Lady Can’t You See That Heaven’s Just Begun
It’s Livin’ Here Inside Our Hearts

[3rd Verse]
There’ll Be No More Mountains For Us To Climb
(I Can’t Be Still You Thrill Me, Baby, Be Mine)
This Will Be A Love Lasting For All Time
Girl You Got To Hold Me
We Can Touch The Sky And Light The Darkest Day
Hold Me, Only You And I Can Make Sweet Love This Way
There’s No More I Can Say

[Chorus]
So Baby, Be Mine (Baby You Gotta Be Mine)
And Girl I’ll Give You All I Got To Give
So Baby, Be My Girl (All The Time)
You’re Everything This World Could Be
The Reason That I Live

[Chorus]
Baby Be My Girl
And Girl I’ll Give You All I Got To Give
So Baby, Be Mine, Baby, Be Mine
You’re Everything This World Could Be To Me

[Chorus]
C’mon, Girl, C’mon Girl
So Baby, Be Mine
You’re Everything This World Could Be To Me

Baby Be Mine by Michael Jackson :)

him

“If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one, because if you really loved the first one you wouldn’t have fallen for the second.” –  Johnny Depp.

“A guy and a girl can be just friends, but at one point or another, they will fall for each other… Maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever.” – Dave Matthews Band

I think… I’m in love, maybe? 
Hi H, I never thought I’ll fall for you this hard. But well, I do. I’ve been thinking about you in the past week. I’ve thinking about us. And I don’t know, these feelings just come and haunt me every night. And every time I’m with you, I feel safe, I feel protected, I feel comfortable, I feel… Better than ever, I swear.

Not being too confident, tapi setiap dia nyapa gue tuh… Beda. Banget. Dia jarang banget nyapa cewek, palingan cuman senyum. Tapi kalo sama gue, he does. He always does that Michael Jackson thing in front of me. Yeah, he loves MJ. He chose me as his group member, he chose me FIRST than the others. My heart can’t stop screaming “iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou”. Nanya gimana rasanya? Gue kayak gak nginjek ke tanah. I’m happier than every person in the whole universe :)

At this point, I’m thinking to myself, am I in love? Did I just say that I love him? Since I don’t believe in happy endings neither happiness without sadness coming after it, this is the truth.
I am the bad guy. I love him, and I wish he loves me too. But someone loves him since the first day. I feel REALLY bad and I don’t know what to do. Gue udah ngejauhin dia kemarin, sebelum gue suka, tapi dia ngedeketin. Nyapa. Ngajak bercanda. I feel like we’re stuck in the moment… Gue bingung harus kayak gimana. Should I give up and back to my old love?

And I’ve handed over this problem to the universe (like in How I Met Your Mother :p). Since yesterday. Today, I saw 8.18. Tadi, bulu mata gue jatoh. And guess what? It’s letter H. Let’s see tomorrow.. & I’m praying for me, for us. :)

00.20

Hi peepol! Long time no see. I was busy with HEAPS of school stuffs and hell yeah, HOLIDAY! When my friends from other school are busy with their final exams and I'm here males malesan so yeah ;) ANYWAY I JUST GOT BACK FROM MALANG! It's late anyway but whatever. I went there for 5 days, from May 24th to 29th with my buddies (: such a great city to explore. I want to live there someday.

Okay, summer, okay. Everybody's preparing for their holiday to Singapore, Malaysia, even around Europe and Asia, Bali, or islands around Indonesia. And I'm sitting here like wow. My mom said WE WON'T GO ANYWHERE because of... Idk. "But mom.... We planned to explore Asia....." well, she won't listen to me anyway. But that's ok. That means I will explore J-ROCK AND VISUAL KEI THINGY YAAAAY.

Let me introduce you, my new addiction. Japan Rock. Now I listen to the GazettE, L'Arc~en~Ciel, Rentrer En Soi, and so many more. They're so addictive! <3.

That's enough. Danke! Xx