him

“If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one, because if you really loved the first one you wouldn’t have fallen for the second.” –  Johnny Depp.

“A guy and a girl can be just friends, but at one point or another, they will fall for each other… Maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever.” – Dave Matthews Band

I think… I’m in love, maybe? 
Hi H, I never thought I’ll fall for you this hard. But well, I do. I’ve been thinking about you in the past week. I’ve thinking about us. And I don’t know, these feelings just come and haunt me every night. And every time I’m with you, I feel safe, I feel protected, I feel comfortable, I feel… Better than ever, I swear.

Not being too confident, tapi setiap dia nyapa gue tuh… Beda. Banget. Dia jarang banget nyapa cewek, palingan cuman senyum. Tapi kalo sama gue, he does. He always does that Michael Jackson thing in front of me. Yeah, he loves MJ. He chose me as his group member, he chose me FIRST than the others. My heart can’t stop screaming “iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou”. Nanya gimana rasanya? Gue kayak gak nginjek ke tanah. I’m happier than every person in the whole universe :)

At this point, I’m thinking to myself, am I in love? Did I just say that I love him? Since I don’t believe in happy endings neither happiness without sadness coming after it, this is the truth.
I am the bad guy. I love him, and I wish he loves me too. But someone loves him since the first day. I feel REALLY bad and I don’t know what to do. Gue udah ngejauhin dia kemarin, sebelum gue suka, tapi dia ngedeketin. Nyapa. Ngajak bercanda. I feel like we’re stuck in the moment… Gue bingung harus kayak gimana. Should I give up and back to my old love?

And I’ve handed over this problem to the universe (like in How I Met Your Mother :p). Since yesterday. Today, I saw 8.18. Tadi, bulu mata gue jatoh. And guess what? It’s letter H. Let’s see tomorrow.. & I’m praying for me, for us. :)